I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
