Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
