ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
