that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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