Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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