He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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