Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
