We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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