i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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