you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
