I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
