my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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