wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
