I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
