No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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