would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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