And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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