I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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