Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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