if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
