Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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