please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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