remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
