From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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