oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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