good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
