btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you would pick up someone in the library
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
