Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
