Only a mothe r could love this liver
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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