So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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