i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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