There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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