kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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