Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
