Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
