I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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