I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
