thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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