he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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