my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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