the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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