help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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