Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
