it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
