I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
