didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
