So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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