i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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