Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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