Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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