your parents love me but you hate me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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