I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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