I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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