Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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