We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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