The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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