Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
