It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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