Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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