He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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