At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
