on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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