So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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