But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm always down for nudity.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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